Life is going to serve up some setbacks… so what can you do to recover? Recent research has discovered there are some beneficial actions you can take to recover quickly from the setbacks and disappointments of life.  Learn the 5 steps of Counterfactual Thinking to get you moving in the right direction and react differently the next time things go bad.

 

TODAY’S QUESTION

Q: “I have a hard time apologizing. How can I improve?” -Gabriella, Brazil

A: You are not alone! Create personal change and repair relationships by utilizing a full and effective apology strategy. Many people apologize in ways that do not work, use this guide to express a true apology…

  1. An apology without any meaning. Mean it and express truth.
  2. The overdone apology focuses on your emotions and makes them seem totally over the top. Match your level of apology to the level of your mistake.
  3. The incomplete apology is missing some elements.
    • Take responsibility.
    • Express regret.
    • Ask for forgiveness.
    • Promise it won’t happen again.
  4. Denial. You feel as if you’re free from guilt and it’s everyone else’s fault. Put aside emotion and examine your role in the situation.

 

STUFF WE LEARN IN THIS EPISODE

Recently there have been some sad events occur in my neighborhood.  A father, who happens to be my age committed suicide, as well a young woman in my neighborhood. I’ve seen the devastating pain and anguish these events have caused family and loved ones of these individuals.  It has really made me think and try to be aware of the lives and hardships we all go through.

If you are seriously depressed please seek out help! Things will get better if you takes steps to get help and assistance. I urge you to reach out.

U.S.A. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call: 1-800-273-8255 or Chat

There are mental protocols to change our brains and recover from setbacks and position us to do better the next time setbacks occur.

Counterfactual Thinking:

  1. Imagine a better outcome that would have occurred. Focus on your own actions, not someone else’s.
  2. Think of a different path that could have ended better than where it did. Think of more than one alternative.
  3. Imagine a different path leading to the same outcome. During the failure/recovery process you want to reveal obstacles you might have not noticed or anticipated.
  4. Imagine the same path leading to a different outcome.
  5. Imagine a worse outcome. This is a feel-good tactic.

Looking at different outcomes to this single experience can help you how build neural pathways of different ways to behave and react the next time you experience a setback.

 

QUOTES BY CHRIS

“The person with power is the person who is able to apologize first.”

“There is never anyone that will say ‘my life has never had any problems’. It’s just a part of the human experience.”

 

ACTION ASSIGNMENTS

Look at the big picture!


 

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